Why is this so common? Illustration: I Just Surf
Do you ever say stuff like this?
“Who do you know here?”
“This is my wave.”
“Place is a total kookfest.”
“Ever since COVID, there’s been a soft top crusade.”
… if so, you may be the town’s agro local surfer, or as you refer to yourself: the regulator. And odds are you aren’t part of the local guard on the North Shore or Maroubra, but maybe you’ll punch a boogieboarder if they burn you.
While some local regulators lose their cool – like this San Francisco Man smashing a foiler’s board at Fort Point – you don’t have to.
There are better ways to regain the joy of surfing… unless you want to be a curmudgeonly surfer, then stay cherry mate.
Try a Mid-Length
When small waves bog you down, the easiest way out is the mid-length. Or bust out the twinnie or even a log. If Jamie O’Brien can make a living on a soft-top, don’t be ashamed to bring one out on a day when the waves are mush.
There’s satisfaction when the frustration of a grovel session turns into a new experience. Try new boards, especially ones with different volume and sweet spots than what you’re used to – it gives you a new feel beneath those piggies. The upgraded entertainment factor can reframe anger into joy.
But avoid foiling. The regulator will smash it, and make you angry again.
Paddle Around The Corner
Crowds. Even when you know everyone in the lineup, the congestion and rabble of the mob can drive you mad. Surfing quiets the mind in the right environment, but you choose the crowd. Familiarity breeds contempt.
There’s always a more secluded place to be alone in nature, if you look. Sometimes you don’t have to look that far.
A break near me is run by 100-some surfers. Fifty at the jetty, 25 spread throughout the beachbreak, and another 25 at the pier. Most days I don’t have the time or energy to go up the coast to a remote area. That’s when I paddle around the corner.
Around the bend is a cove and a long rock ledge that blocks out the noise and keeps people away. There’s even a long left that peels like a banana.
When you venture to places that are less convenient to get to, you ditch the herd. Go on the search.
Chuck a Sickie
Paddling around the corner is fun, but sometimes you want to hit the go-to spot or a popular break. Before and after the 9-5 grind is when the majority of people hit the surf. So just chuck a sickie and send in that old positive COVID test – or whatever you need to do to get out of work – and take a day for yourself.
In gradeschool, my father would pull me out of class for a roadie down to Santa Cruz and a day of surfing, Pleasure Pizza, and wrenching on soaked wetsuits with noodle arms… and he’s a professor! If you can’t find a way out of work here and there to enjoy some weekday noon surf then what are you doing? Just chuck a sickie.
Watch Mason Ho Clips
There’s no such thing as too much Mason Ho. The “Ambassador of Fun” gleams with puppy dog energy and makes the most dangerous of spots look approachable. You don’t need to make danger your business, but you can take a note out of the Book of Mason.
When you surf angry it can feel like a chore, or even like others are thieves of your joy. Mason Ho levitates above that vibe and channels his energy into his surf. How could a surfer be anything but happy when they charge as hard and freely as Mason? Queue the Jimi Hendrix and tap into the “Naked Mas” carefree spirit.
If you watch some Ho & Pringle Productions before a surf and still come out salty, then surfing might not be the answer to your rage. It might be time to just go old school a la Jimi Hendrix at the Monterey Pop Festival in the ’60s: light your board on fire and smash it into bits.
