Without his videographer, how would timeless lifestyle images like this fill our feeds? Photo: Sebastián León Prado//Unsplash
A professional freesurfer is in hot water this week after rumors emerged he dared enjoy a session without the accompaniment of his longtime videographer. At the very least, the surfer, who’s asked to remain anonymous to avoid embarrassment, has fallen behind on his vlogging and social media commitments. But at worst, the bold move has lost him at least one sponsor while others may soon follow.
He had no idea the consequences would be so swift and fierce.
“Look, I seriously just wanted to surf,” the Encinitas local explains. “I texted my guy but he wasn’t around. He usually just drops literally everything he’s doing — even ditching his day job mid-shift to film knee-high, onshore slop from the beach a couple of times a week. So I figured he’d just get the message and show up. I even wore a suit with a ton of extra neon so he could spot me in the lineup.”
Tragically, the videographer didn’t get to the beach before the end of the session. And that’s when everything took a turn for the worst.
“Without photo or video evidence of one of our athletes’ every session showing on social media, they are a liability to us, not an asset,” a rep for one of the surfer’s sponsors told The Inertia. “We need plugs through clever brand placement in vlogs and completely unrelated hashtags on social media.”
The anonymous rep also expressed concerns beyond lost opportunities for brand recognition. In fact, he argued something even more disastrous could happen if other professional surfers started suiting up without their personal videographers and production crews in tow: a resurgence of the antiquated narrative that surfing is supposed to be “just for fun.”
“Waging war on others in the comments section of a surf-related social media page is the lifeblood of our industry now,” said the rep. “Average Joe needs to vent his or her frustration by calling others ‘kooks’ in order to feel like a true surfer right now. If the idea that a professional surfer, of all people, has suddenly started enjoying catching waves — that this is anything more than an obligatory chore to be documented and shared on social media for outside validation — would just be confusing to our target customers. Our sales would plummet if this narrative grew.”
Editor’s Note: Johnny Utah is an “Eff-Bee-Eye” agent and an expert in works of satire. More of his “investigative” work can be found here.
