I don’t get star-struck around pro surfers. But the one time I did was the one-and-only time I interviewed Kelly Slater. When I was talking with him at the 2019 World Surfing Games, I could sense my nervousness through my increased heartbeat and run-on sentences. His blue eyes are so piercing and his words hold so much weight. I don’t know whether my nerves outwardly showed, but even if they did, Kelly Slater is such an eloquent speaker that he made me look half-decent.
Slater’s not afraid to chime in with a thought or an opinion. When he shows up to a contested comment section on social media, he authoritatively puts an end to any debate. When the GOAT speaks, it’s hard to argue. In Slater’s latest podcast appearance with Barton Lynch, the conversation mainly centered around the 2024 Olympics. He dropped lots of gold nuggets of information, knowledge, and gossip. Here are the most important takeaways.
Slater’s son was born and still doesn’t have a name
During the Olympics or shortly before, the most sought-after DNA in pro surfing was replicated. On the podcast Slater revealed his second child, a son, had been born. Slater said that the birth certificate has a name strictly for official purposes, but that the baby boy is still unnamed.
“We don’t have a name we call him,” said Slater. “We are letting him figure out what his personality is.”
Chances that we see the new mystery Slater on the tour in 2044? Pretty good if you ask me.
Slater was an undercover Olympic coach
In the podcast Slater said that he never officially threw his name into the hat to be coach for Team USA for two reasons: He was hoping to make the team himself and Shane Dorian, who had the role, is more than qualified.
However, while Slater wasn’t coaching, he did reveal that he was “helping” a select few athletes. Namely, Kanoa Igarashi, Caroline Marks, Gabriel Medina, and Bryan Perez, who he says he was periodically texting with tips, advice, and/or support.
That’s an invaluable mentor to have in your corner.
Slater still doesn’t understand the Olympic qualification system
Given that Slater is known for his orating skills and deep thinking, I find it perplexing that he never seems to wrap his head around the Olympic qualification system. Yes, it requires a few minutes, but if you carefully read the document it’s not that complicated.
Slater let one line slip out during the interview that tells me he didn’t understand how he could qualify for Paris 2024.
“If I were ever going to get a wildcard spot, it would have been the wild card (that Bryan Perez) got,” said Slater. “I actually felt some spiritual connection to him there, like a brotherhood.”
Slater is completely wrong with that assessment. Perez was given the one male “universality” slot. These special slots are baked into the qualification systems of most Olympic sports to give opportunities to athletes from countries that are underrepresented. There is a definitive list of countries eligible for this slot and I hate to break it to Slater: USA is not on it. However, Syria is on the list if Slater ever wants to get another passport in honor of his Syrian descent.
The reason I say Slater still doesn’t get it is that he showed similar lack of study of the qualification system for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics.
I recall Slater on the broadcast for the 2019 World Surfing Games stating that if he won the event, he would qualify for the Olympics. That event only concerned continental qualification for Asia, Oceania, Africa, and Europe. Continental qualification for the Americas was via the Pan Am Games, and even so, the U.S. was always going to fill its two male slots via the Championship Tour.
It was confusing that Slater thought he had another way into the Olympics. Does he not care enough to read the rules, or is he consistently trolling us? Maybe we’ll never know.
There is too much claiming in surfing
When Lynch switched the topic to the high-scoring Olympic heat between Ramzi Boukhiam and Joao Chianca, with an expressionless stare Slater said, “Yeahhh, I’m going to be critical.” That’s when I grabbed my popcorn, knowing Slater was about to spew some golden comments.
“I thought they claimed way too many times,” said Slater. “They were claiming like those were the best waves of their lives. The waves were good, but both of them could have been deeper on almost every wave they rode. Sorry.”
Slater went on to say that he felt Joao was “selling” his waves and that, in general, claims are more “in fashion” nowadays.
“There are so many claims now, to me it’s like falls in soccer,” added Slater. “I’m getting tired of seeing them. (Claims) are being used not for emotion, but for sale…There should be a judging rule where you deduct a bit for the not-stoked claim (laughs).”
While Slater may be right, next time he claims a wave, he better be prepared to be put under the microscope.
Judges and athletes should have the right to take group pics
The most juicy non-competition moment of the Olympics was undoubtedly the removal of Australian judge Ben Lowe after he took a photo with compatriots Ethan Ewing and Bede Durbidge.
Slater told Lynch he wanted to comment on the topic earlier, but refrained.
“It reinforces this weird energy that judges and surfers can’t be friendly,” said Slater. “And that sucks… I thought it was a little silly myself.”
Slater went on to say that “someone” did a breakdown of the scoring and they didn’t find any discrepancies. I’m 99 percent sure that someone is yours truly. I’ll add that to my resume.
