The world preserve parking lot where a major surf contest broke out. Photo: @thestokelife
Don’t bother recycling if you own an e-bike. You’ve already done your part. Beach cleanups? Just sleep in. Plastic straws and single-use cutlery? Go ahead and use ’em because those turtles owe you a debt of gratitude.
“We wouldn’t want you sucking milkshakes out of one of those godforsaken paper straws,” says endangered sea life everywhere. “I’ll be fine. You got an e-bike.”
Think I’m joking? I’m not. E-bikes are officially the most environmentally friendly mode of surf transportation — better for the planet than carbon-spewing cars or walking. Riding an e-bike means you’re not driving a planet-hating car. It’s that simple. And a new group of conservationists is so convinced of this fact they’ve begun a crusade to turn the beach near a famous wave into the first-ever e-bike parking lot world preserve.
“E-bikers deserve special access to our favorite waves,” says Connor Thompson, a Southern California native and supporter of the effort.
According to Thompson, the idea came about after e-bike enthusiasts held a global conference this week and a major surf contest broke out. Seeing so many eco-conscious, non-pedaling machines with surfboard racks on the nearby trail and on the beach inspired Thompson to give back. E-bikers, he believes, need quicker, more direct access to these pristine places. The official proposal will be given to the local city council next week, demanding clear designation between beachside storage for traditional bikes and e-bikes. “Analog” bikes, as he calls them, will now have to park and be locked no less than 1,500-feet from the sand. E-bikes, however, will be allowed to dot the shoreline right up to the water’s edge.
“If you saw how much e-bikes outnumbered those outdated traditional bikes when the surf contest broke out, you’d understand,” Thompson argues. “There are just so many people doing their part that it’s now our duty to create the infrastructure to support their efforts.”
Editor’s Note: Johnny Utah is an “Eff-Bee-Eye” agent and an expert in works of satire. More of his investigative work can be found here.
