“Hey bud, let’s party!”
I used to smoke a lot of weed. For a few years in high school, I was stoned most of the time. Then, for some odd reason, I started puking and getting really mad, so I stopped because that’s pretty much the opposite of what I want to be doing. Now it’s been more than a decade since I was stoned, save for the time my friend hot-boxed my truck on the way to go trout fishing, then rolled me a cigarette with weed in it and didn’t tell me it had weed in it. “Ha ha,” he must’ve thought, because he’s a cruel person.
“Cody,” I said over Willie Nelson singing Always on my Mind, “this tastes like weed.”
“No it doesn’t,” he responded. “It’s just because the papers were in my weed pouch.”
When we got to the river, I had to head upstream to be by myself for a while. I got really mad at Brian the Brown Brute (biggest trout in the Cowichan River, swear to God!) for not ever letting me catch him, then I quietly puked in a bush–managing to avoid getting any into my chest waders–and wandered back over to Cody. I don’t think Cody knew I puked. Cody, I puked, you sneaky, cruel bastard.
Surfers are always getting the stoner stereotype. When Spicoli fell out of that van in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, he basically chiseled the fact into stone that all surfers must be stoners, at least to everyone who doesn’t surf. I’m pretty sure my step-dad thinks I smoke a shitload of weed simply because I like surfing. To be honest, I WOULD smoke a shitload of weed if I could, but I can’t. It’s very disappointing. And it’s got nothing to do with the fact that I like to surf. It’s just that I really liked smoking weed.
Anyway, if you’re stoned, I probably lost you up there at Willie Nelson. THAT guy smoked a lot of pot. Here are five others who surf and smoke a lot of weed.
1. Spicoli, from Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Spicoli carried a bagel in his pants and ordered pizza to his classroom. He was so wasted. All he needs are some cool waves and a tasty buzz, and he’s fine.
2. Crush, from Finding Nemo
While the turtle from Finding Nemo never actually smokes any weed on screen (the people at Pixar couldn’t figure out how to get his lighter to light underwater), it’s pretty clear that he’s been hitting the bong really hard. Righteous. Riiiiighteooouuus.
3. The Wapaah Guy, from the internet
This guy is all-time. In the span of a few days, his ridiculous surfer-speak Newport interview turned him into the Spicoli of the 2000s, only he didn’t go on to marry Madonna and eventually beat her up. Wapaah! But he did get a chance to go on Tosh.O and became the star of about a thousand remixes, so that’s kind of cool. Maybe it’s not.
4. Captain Goodvibes, from the 1970s
Captain Goodvibes, or the Pig of Steel, wasn’t just a stoner. He wasn’t just a surfer, either. He just did a whole lot of drugs. He’s like a pork version of Raoul Duke. But he did smoke weed and surf, so he’s on the list. After starting out as a pork chop, Captain Goodvibes turned into a pig with a coke straw for a nose and a jacket pocket full of joints. If you surfed in Australia in the ’70s, you know who this is.
Did you know that you 20 nuggets is only a dollar more than 10 nuggets? Mind blowing. Photo: Toobs
5. I was going to put a fifth person in here, but I figured I’d just go to McDonalds instead and eat nuggets and a sundae at the same time. It’s 4.20, after all.
