A few weeks ago, I wrote a short piece about Kelly Slater’s art show in Venice, California. I’d been thinking about Bob Ross the morning of (I have no idea why), and I thought it might be funny to photoshop Kelly’s face onto Bob’s perfectly afro-d head. I only ever really use photoshop for cropping images to fit the website or to make horribly offensive photos of my friends, so this was a new one for me. It worked out pretty well, if I do say so myself.
“I’m just going to put this little political statement right here.”
Soon after, I got a couple of emails. “Dude, did you make this?” one asked. “It’s Kelly’s Instagram avatar!” Since I’m not on Instagram, I didn’t initially know what an Instagram avatar was. The emailer sounded excited, though–it sounded as though I’d hit the peak of my professional photoshopping career. As it turns out, I probably have, and it doesn’t pay very well, so it’s back to the offensive images of friends, I suppose.
Then the image started showing up all over the place, which was funny. Two nights later, a couple of Inertia-ers went to cover Kelly’s art show and came back with this framed piece of gold:
You suck it, Kelly.
There’s a longer story behind it, but in a nutshell, I’ve got a bunch of signed posters around my desk from various surfers, all telling me to suck it. Tatiana Weston-Webb and Mason Ho look down at me when I’m in the office, shouting at me to suck it. Now Kelly’s sitting there too, framed and telling me to suck it. I hope it’s all in good fun. I don’t want to suck it.
Anyway, here are eight more Kellys. And one Kenny, just because it’s Kenny fucking G. Oh, and Kelly, if you’re reading this, the next time you’re in Sunlife Organics and you hear someone in line behind you telling you to suck it, you know who it is. Banzai bowls on me.
