The East Coast gets a lot of flack. Occasionally, though, it rewards the dedication of its surfers with views like this. Photo: Evan Fa
Surfers on the East Coast are uniquely blessed with the good, the bad, and a whole lot of ugly concentrated along one, truly incomparable shoreline. Our friends out West may revel in their more consistent surf, but the state of Florida has produced its fair share of world champions in the last few decades. The last world champ from California was Tom Curren. Score one for the East Coast.
The best thing about getting waves on the East Coast, though, is there are so many idiosyncrasies that the West Coast simply can’t relate to. So, with the quirks called out, here are five totally weird things that make the East Coast a special place to be a surfer.
Some gray-green vision in the Outer Banks. Photo: Youtube/Screenshot
1. Clear water is a gift that Mother Nature did not give to the Atlantic
If you can sit atop your board and see all ten of your toes, you are definitely not surfing in the Atlantic Ocean. The good ol’ Atlantic is a thing of photoshopped wonder to those who haven’t treaded in its green-gray glory. While outsiders picture the crystal blue waters advertised on Google Images, those of us who actually live here clearly see that Photoshop and metadata tags are the true wonder of this world. We’re still waiting for that blue-water-postcard image advertised online to come to fruition, as we’ve already lost sight of our outstretched hands beneath the surface.
2. Bittersweet feelings toward Hurricane Season
It’s like an East Coast surfer’s Christmas; you’re super excited for nature’s gift to come rolling in but you’re not looking forward to paying the price of the seasonal storms (or house repairs when you waltz-back-home into 3 inches of water seeping into the front room’s carpet).
On a serious note, hurricanes are catastrophic to East Coast residents, as they often wreak havoc on coastal communities across the entire Eastern Seaboard. But, if that tropical opposite-of-depression just happens to swoop in-and-out of the Atlantic concavity, call in sick, and break into your happy dance – Sendy Claus is coming to town.
When the local Publix creates holiday-style “hurricane cakes” to christen the start of hurricane season, that’s when it gets sweet.
Nothing says terrifying like seeing a dorsal fin headed straight at you. Photo: Wikimedia Commons
3. Shark, dolphin, ray, or gator?
Personally, I feel that as long as we’re not dealing with the gator, we’re going to be just fine. As already established, there is very slight chance of seeing any marine life below the surface of the murky Atlantic water. In (lack-of) light of this, East Coasters live by the dorsal fin rule. The theoretical rule is to spot the dorsal fin of the approaching sea critter and watch the angles of the fin. If it is straight and swimming in a line, you’ve probably just spotted a shark (or as I like to call them, pelagic pit bulls). But, if this triangle is curved and swimming up-and-down, it is most likely just a squeaky dolphin passing through.
But let’s be honest, unless you’ve got superhuman vision, you’re probably not going to get a close enough look at the curvature of that darn dorsal fin. So the real rule is this: when you pee yourself a little bit as that black triangle pokes above the water’s surface, send up the silent please-don’t-be-a-shark prayer and go about your sesh.
“Dude, I got so barreled on that one!” Photo: Pinterest
4. “It’s firing!” Is it though..?
Sometimes we lovingly refer to the ocean as Lake Atlantic for a reason. As every surfer knows, “firing” is relative. I can still recall getting the bedtime text message screaming at me with all-caps enthusiasm about the following morning’s forecast calling for countless “BARRELS,” and how it was absolutely imperative to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn to pursue this “firing” swell. Fast forward to the morning, after my alarm has sufficiently quacked like a duck (yes, that’s my alarm sound) at 5:00 a.m. so that I can roll out of bed, slip on a bikini, and haul my board up to the nearest pier at record speed, just eager to paddle out. When I arrive, I spot the most picturesque barreling wave reeling through the lineup…… a barrel for ants, that is.
Lisa Anderson, a product of Florida, is proof East Coasters make the most of the often meager surf the Atlantic offers them. Photo: ASP/Poullenot/AQUASHOT
5. If there’s a wave, there’s a way.
In all of my surfing-related travels, I have noticed one ever-present quality that radiates from all East Coast surfers: they can surf ANYTHING. It doesn’t matter that it’s too mushy, too windy, too small, or too cold; East Coast surfers will shred any size, anywhere, on anything, at any time. I mean c’mon ladies and gents, Kelly Slater didn’t grow up with peeling barrels and Lisa Andersen didn’t experience four to five-foot swells rolling through central Florida every weekend. That fearless-ripping-goddess and that hairless shredding celestial both rose from the mush of the Atlantic Ocean to become the GOATs of the surfing world.
In his memoir, Pipe Dreams, Kelly Slater wrote earnestly, “The waves in Florida suck.”
We know, Kelly. But, it’s still your home. And it’s better than not surfing.
