A helpful image for the owner to identify their lost cocaine. Photo: Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, Florida
Brevard County, Florida, has seen its fair share of illicit drugs wash up along its coastline over the years. Like many parts of the Sunshine State, traffickers are known to accept their losses and unload cargo in the middle of the Atlantic whenever they think they might have a run-in with the Coast Guard. After another such incident, in which a local fisherman literally reeled in $1.7 million worth of ditched cocaine, the current sheriff is offering to return it all to its original owner, “No strings attached.”
A scroll through the Brevard County Sheriff’s Facebook page will show that whoever runs the department’s social media enjoys the hell out of trolling the perps brought in for various trafficking charges, DUIs, and the list goes on. This time, the 25 kilos of cocaine brought in by a local fisherman are being advertised on social media as “lost and found” items. It’s one of their better troll jobs.
“All of us at one point or another in our lives have lost or misplaced something important and are always hopeful that a good samaritan or an incredibly kind person will find our lost item and do the right thing by returning it to its rightful owner,” they wrote, pointing out that the drugs fell off of someone’s boat and now they just want to do the right thing by finding the original owners.
“If the 25 kilos of coke belongs to you, all we need you to do is come down to our Criminal Investigative Services building on Gus Hipp Blvd. in Rockledge and claim your property with absolutely no strings attached!! That’s right… no strings attached as once we properly identify you as the rightful owner we will gladly return your property and also make sure that both you and your property are kept in a secure area so that no one can try to rip you off,” they added, saying that they’re going to throw in an all expenses paid “staycation” at “Ivey’s Iron Bar Lodge” for whoever shows up to claim their product.
Brevard County is home to Cocoa Beach, of course, where Kelly Slater himself grew up. So the rightful owner could go get a little hometown surf history tour on top of it all.
Sounds like a deal.
