Ivana, with daughter Ivanka. Donald, with an awesome hat.
Donald Trump is awesome. Not because he’s an aspiring politician or says all sorts of crazy things about races and religions and different nationalities, or because he’s switched party affiliation like six times as it suited his economic situation. But more because he’s a skier. And more specifically because he married an awesome skier in his first wife, Ivana Trump (she claimed to be an alternate on the ’72 Czech Olympic Team. Not true, but she was a ski instructor). She’s really awesome. She’s the mother of Trump’s first three children, Donald jr., Ivanka, and Eric. And she also once schooled ‘The Donald,’ (as she was the first to call him in a 1989 cover story for Spy magazine), on the slopes of Aspen, Colorado in 1990.
It was the holidays, so Donald was his usual awesome self, skiing in his one-piece, when who should show up, but the Big D’s longtime trist, Marla Maples (one of many, reportedly). Well Ivana, being the most awesome Trump there is, confronted Maples, and told her to get a life, because after all, it was her husband that Maples was screwing. And that probably wasn’t so awesome (Trump and Maples would later wed).
Donald’s first wife Ivana was a rad skier. And even if Donald wasn’t, that’s pretty darn awesome.
Well, according to eye witnesses, Ivana could be seen giving old Donald the what for on the slopes somewhere in Aspen. When Donald had had enough, he took off down the hill. Not so fast Donnie. Ivana, being Czechoslovakian, and an awesome athlete, like all Czech’s (Donnie would approve of that generalized message), she raced after him and easily caught up with ‘The Donald,’ and these witnesses swear that Ivana flipped around and rode switch, wagging her finger at Trump, continuing to let him know what a poor shusher of snow he was while skiing down the hill backwards.
Yep, regardless of your politics, as we continue the fight for the Republican nomination, and then for the presidency, know that all this banter about ‘The Donald’ will only get more intense (and more annoying). But take comfort in this: Donald’s first wife Ivana was a rad skier. And even if Donald wasn’t, that’s pretty darn awesome.
