No. This is simple: no. Photo: Real Monstrosities
Talk about an aggressive bout of the heebie jeebies. I really think we need to stop doing these, ’cause every time I cast out to see what Crazy Creature Of The Week will bite, I hook a good months-worth of nightmares generally involving a weirdly slow-motion, ultimately panic-inducing encounter. And they add a moment’s hesitation to what is generally a non-hesitant paddling out. The sarcastic fringehead is no different.
These territorial, jaw-unhinging things-that-go-bump-in-the-night are found in the Pacific Ocean, from the western coast of Baja California in Mexico, all the way to the San Francisco coast. Places like the Redondo Canyon fault off Redondo Beach near Los Angeles are particularly popular for these Blade vampire reaper-esque “fish” (if you’re comfortable calling the monster a fish) as past earthquakes have provided plenty of nooks and crannies for these fish to settle into — empty clam or snail shells, abandoned burrows, and cracks in clay or rock outcroppings — and the increase of trash in our oceans also offer rent-free living, along with shells and whatever else they are able to slip and squeeze into. These fringeheads are considered ambush predators, though what exactly they’re ambushing, or is part of their diet, is relatively unknown.
They’re waiting… Photo: Pixdaus
The part that makes these Neoclinus blanchardi not only nightmarish but actually frightening? Growing up to a foot long, these long, slender and mostly scaleless homebodies have no problem attacking trespassers, from fellow sarcastic fringehead and octopus, to humans. Yep, humans. With razor sharp teeth, they even pierce through wetsuits, leaving good-sized souvenirs in diver’s flesh or whatever got enveloped by that enormous mouth. And don’t think that a in-person encounter is out of the question — with their intimidating defense tactics, there are few predators that are brave enough themselves to take on the open sea terrors. With that being said, happy diving!
