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Editor’s Note: Interested in the best wetsuits for surfing? Click here, and learn more about women’s wetsuits here. Cold feet? Check out our guide to the best surf booties. Want to avoid getting your ears drilled? Read our earplugs review here.
“Who needs flexibility when you can just stay warm?”
Wetsuit pioneer Chad Brad poses this question to a warehouse full of his employees. He’s tasked them with developing the world’s thickest suit, set to launch this winter. He follows the question with a fiery retelling of the surf session that inspired his brand’s groundbreaking suit, The Sweatbox. It’s 78 millimeters of head-to-toe neoprene. No zippers, no seams, no panels even — a full suit, hoodie, gloves, and booties made into one seamless piece in which the wearer must climb in through the neck opening, then cinch the hoodie tight with an airlock/bungee cord closure (another industry first). Surfing has never seen a wetsuit so thick, so warm, so high-tech.
“Seams and zippers let in water,” Brad points out. “They make a suit too breathable.”
The aforementioned “a-ha” moment that led to a groundbreaking design happened last winter in the chilly waters of San Diego. The Pacific Ocean was a “near-freezing” 65 degrees, he describes.
“I was so cold in my 6-5-4 hoodie that I only lasted four hours. I had to cut my session short,” he says. “It felt like such a shame to know I could’ve kept surfing if I could’ve just stayed warm. I knew there was a way to make San Diego winters more bearable.”
Less than a year later, his creation is set to launch, touted as “the most flexible ever” 78-mm suit. It’s also changing the game as a true full suit, fully equipped with its booties, gloves, and hoodie in one.
“Technically, it’s the only 78-mil,” Brad points out. “So no, I’m not lying when I plan to market it as the most flexible.”
Technicians tested the suit in the same waters that inspired it over the past months. Whereas Chad Brad had to cut his sessions short a year ago, he now claims to be able to stay in the water for “three days straight when it’s pumping.”
“There were two or three times I passed out from heat exhaustion,” he said. “Once, I sweated so much that I got sick from dehydration. So you can definitely say we solved the problem of wetsuits not being warm enough. I only have to get out for food and water now. And we’re only one or two more winters away from developing the tech to solve those problems.”
Editor’s Note: Johnny Utah is an “Eff-Bee-Eye” agent and an expert in works of satire. More of his investigative work can be found here.
