Post surf sunsets? Cha-ching! Photo: Unsplash
Our life is a broadcast, our world a stage. And surfers are no different. I mean who doesn’t want to foster authentic connections and influence purchase decisions and brand awareness? But not all surf influencers are the same. There are niches and nooks, tropes and tribes. Here, I cleave seven of the more common types of surf influencers.
The Funny Guy
And yes, for some reason, it’s always a guy. The failed professional surfer has parlayed his unique and hilarious wit into that most difficult of all genres; surf comedy. By skewering surf stereotypes, often with the use of a female wig or bikini, or parodying topical events, the funny guy builds an audience based on LOLs, the odd piece of above-average surfing, memorable memes and their annual comedic take on a surf trip to Bali.
Sultry Longboarder
Graceful, gorgeous and gallant, the sultry longboarder moves the dial with a sweet cross step, cheekbones that could cut glass and legs almost as long as their 8’3” balsawood singlefin. Obviously, the audience wants to share in the life of endless two-foot righthand point breaks and the posse beach days under the umbrella with the cold kombucha as the sun sets behind the palm trees. No one, however, ever mentions the Eskimo rolls when the surf gets over three foot.
Jack of All Trades
The singer, songwriter, surfer, photographer, stylist, DJ and wildlife conservation enthusiast has not only flipped the jack of all trades and master of none adage on its head but started selling tee-shirts with that slogan written in Katakana on the front. The audience does however appreciate the difficulty in finding good waves next to donkey sanctuaries and folk festivals that fund the reparation of Sri Lankan stray dogs. New single coming out next week!
Anti-Woke Big Wave Surfer
The common saying is that opinions are like arseholes, in that everyone has one. However, audience alchemy can be achieved by mixing the capacity to ride giant waves, hold one’s breath for eight minutes, kill animals with weapons, decry the irrational use of wind power to generate electricity and lash out at those who feel uncomfortable enough in their gender that they want to change it. It seems it’s hard not to tune in when 40-foot waves come with authoritarian nationalism.
Woke Small Wave Surfer
Being enlightened and understanding, The Woke Small Wave Surfer knows that while there is great wisdom in the saying that opinions are like arseholes, they would add that opinions differ significantly from arseholes, in that everyone else’s should be constantly and thoroughly examined. Woke surfers, not to be confused with wake surfers, know their audience looks for injustice like bees looking for honey. The holy grail of course is when said influencer witnesses a perceived injustice live and direct. That, my friends, is a green light for another paid promotion within the next several posts. Guaranteed.
The Phenom Grom
Either pushed into their first wave by their top 10 rated professional surfer parents aged six months, grown up on a remote Indonesian island surf resort or birthed in the channel at Jaws, the grom is getting eight-second tubes by aged six, and backdooring 15-foot slabs by 12. With the dad managing the surf pathway and the mum the social feed to early life corporatization, it’s just a shame that their appeal, like Olympic gymnasts and dogs, has a lifespan of less than a decade.
The Family
The family, better known as a ready-made influencer collective, has the advantage of sharing high-quality content through its DNA-spliced personalities. The parents, usually known as Papa Bear and Momma Bear, prioritize surfing over mundane issues like education, community and peer groups. And while the kids’ literacy levels stay close to that of most third-graders, you can’t put a price on the experience of swimming under a Costa Rican waterfall or surfing Cloudbreak alone as a family. Well, you can, as long as the engagement rate of the fourth child remains above 4.75 percent and all siblings maintain strong equity scores.
