Don’t be like this. Stay out of the rut. Smile more. Art: Damian Fulton
Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls. And just when you think you’ve figured out when that the curve ball is coming, life switches it up and throws a knuckleball or sometimes, when it’s feeling really feisty, a banana. You don’t want to get hit with that banana. But, I suppose, that is all part of the excitement. Stagnancy is death in still pools of water and everyday life.
We’re about a month into 2014 – which, to me, seems like the future. With the New Year comes the inevitable resolutions – the things you want to do to improve yourself, the things that could have done better last year. I never make any resolutions, because I’ve always thought that I was just setting myself up for failure. I think, this year, that I may have figured something out. It’s the concrete resolutions that are the hardest to keep: quitting smoking; eating healthier; going to the gym. These are all things that, while they seem relatively easy to do, they are also incredibly easy to not do. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try and do them, though. Willpower does not come easily to western society, especially one that is so enamored with creature comforts. But for all our comfort, for all of our supposed happiness makers, there are a lot of people walking around looking miserable and unhealthy. They sure do drive nice cars, though. But I’ll be damned if they’re keeping those resolutions they put in place to improve their lives.
So this year, instead of making resolutions that are concrete, I’m making fluid ones, ones that are based on previous mistakes, but ones that are a bit easier to mold into something else should the need arise.
In thinking about what I could do better this year and how all my screw ups from last year (there are LOTS) could translate into a better life for me, I came up with a few ideas that just might translate into your life, and have a lot of similarities to those old clichés I used to ignore. I’m no life-coach, so feel free to ignore me if they don’t apply to your life… but next time you hear one of those clichés, really think about it. It might turn out to have some pretty staggering similarities to your own life.
Keep moving/The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.
When I say keep moving, I don’t mean physically, although that’s also very important. More important, I think, is to not get too stuck in what you’re doing. Ruts kill, whether you’re on skis, in a horse carriage, or sitting in your office. I understand that work is work, and for the most part, jobs are pretty repetitive. Don’t let that be your life. Being tired after work is no excuse. Pick up a hobby – it doesn’t matter what it is. Learn a new language. Build a mini ramp and learn to skate it. Write a book, if only a story book for yourself. The point isn’t necessarily what it is, it’s having some kind of project to keep you out of the ruts.
I had and back-and-forth with Matt Warshaw of EOS fame about settling down, which I equated with being in a rut. He said it well, I think: “Being settled is better. But only after you’ve well and truly got your fill of not being settled. And thus it is spoke, Grasshopper.” And he’s probably right. But if you’re truly getting your fill, you’re filling in those ruts and building a road.
Be happier/Happiness is a choice.
I recently moved to LA, where apparently, it is cool to be aloof. LA’s coolness factor seems to be entirely dependent on one’s ability to be an asshole to total strangers. I’m not sure when that became ok, but at some point, at least here, it did. I’m sure these people aren’t assholes to their friends, but they sure can be to people that they don’t know. You know that saying, “fake it ‘til you make it”? If that’s true, the longer you pretend to be too cool to be nice, at some point, you’ll genuinely be a jerk. But here’s a secret: you still won’t be cool, you’ll just be a genuine jerk. So smile at more people. Have a conversation with a stranger. If you notice something nice about someone you don’t know, tell them, even if you look like a total weirdo for doing it. They’ll like you for it.
Stick with your family/You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.
Seriously. You’re stuck with them until they’re dead. Spending time with family is one of those things that, depending on your family, can be either amazing or awful. Either way, you should do it. My brother and wife and son live about a five hour drive away. Before I moved, it was about twenty. One of the things I was excited about most when I moved to LA was seeing them more – we probably averaged, over the last ten years, about two days a year. And guess what? I haven’t. Things keep getting in the way of a visit. Things that aren’t as important as a visit. Take stock of what’s important in your life, then look at how much you do the things that aren’t important. For the most part, the important things aren’t easy, so we fall back on other things that pretend they’re important, like mowing the lawn or drinking beer on the couch or mowing the lawn while drinking beer. Your grass will always get longer, and you can always get drunk, but if you blow it with your family, no amount of beer will fix it.
Like I said, I’m no life coach. But, hopefully, some of this applies to your own life. If it doesn’t, make your own list, so that when life invariably throws that banana at you, you’re ready for it.
Tell us your best idea on how to make 2014 better. Best one wins $200 worth of gear from Howler Brothers! While you’re at it, take a peek at previous installments of Call of the Wild powered by Howler Bros.
