The WSL, just as they say in their adverts, could not possibly have scripted what went down in their ground zero year. One way or another, 2015 will be remembered as monumental. There have been peaks and valleys, for sure. Like any fledgling organization does, they are still finding their feet, and mingled success and failure is all part of the process. I’m not going to waste anymore words on Sharkgate, or the 4.17 debacle, or the bloody commentators, but these are my six takeaways from the Tour this year.
The king is dead. Long live the king. Photo: WSL/Cestari
1. Kelly Slater is done.
Unless someone can guarantee great waves at every stop, the King is off the throne. (Ironically, it seems like he might already have taken that issue into his own hands.) He lacks motivation when the waves suck. And why shouldn’t he? He’s an old man, and old men don’t have time to waste on shit waves. Have you ever noticed how Grandad just cuts to the chase? No wasting words, no fucking about, he just says it like it is and to hell with who’s crying. You’ve got to respect that. In recent years, Kelly has made no bones of the fact that he needs good surf to get properly into it. We know he’s busy feathering his nest for the future and re-inventing science, but focus is underrated. Kelly has some hard facts to face up to going into next season. I sincerely hope he doesn’t do a Kobe Bryant. I don’t want to watch an old man who was once great struggling to stay afloat in a sea of younger, superior athletes.
Big tubes, big balls. Photo: WSL/Masurel
2. Julian Wilson won our hearts.
He won our hearts at J-Bay like a beautiful little ladyboy. I’ve never been Julian Wilson’s greatest fan, but his overall J-Bay performance was nothing short of majestic. His surfing en-route to the final was seamless, top-to-bottom artistry, and his actions in the final were heroic. He may have the looks of a schoolgirl, but he has the great big swinging balls of a man.
Italo! Photo: WSL
3. Italo Ferreira is legit.
He may look like he is wearing a fatsuit in his WSL profile pic, but his stumpy little legs throw buckets! He’s been stoking all year. His pockets are stuffed with stokens. And don’t we all just love a Cinderella story? I heard he was raised by cats in a favela. Cats with an incredible backhand hack. I look forward to more spawn of favela strays broadsiding us with amazing surfing next year!
More Medina. Photo: WSL
4. The Tour desperately needs Gabriel Medina.
If not for his surfing alone, then certainly for his personality disorders. I’m more than sick of the One Big Family Tour. I’m not interested in the Bro League. I loathe the World Tour of Bland. I can’t listen to one more interview with a “competitor” telling us that so and so is “such a great surfer” and it was “really difficult” to have to beat them. Fucking blah. The Tour needs guys that want to smash each other! Gabriel Medina is that guy. This is competitive sport, for heaven’s sake! It’s pantomime season and we all love a villain. Beating a grieving Mick in the Pipe semi and effectively ending his title challenge only added to Gabby’s villainous stature. Vai, Medina!
Don’t turn him into Dane. Photo: WSL/Masurel
5. We need to stop praising John Florence.
If it goes on for too long, we’re going to turn him into Dane Reynolds. JJF is the best surfer in the world, everyone acknowledges it, we get it. Just like we got it with Dane. View From a Blue Moon has blown the doors off. So did First Chapter. On his day he is the most stylish, the most technical, the most progressive… just like Dane, once upon a time. If we want to see more of Florence, then let’s make him work for it. His competitive urge is definitely questionable (and undoubtedly not in the same realm as Medina’s) and we as fans, sponsors, fellow pros, an industry, are giving him a perfect platform to shun the vest and still make a great living. Given the choice between the grind of the Tour or staying home in his beloved Hawaii, what do you reckon JJF would go for? We need the best surfer in the world to entertain us in a competitive format, not fade away in a haze of sparse web edits and untested potential.
Embrace the characters and celebrate contention!
6. The WSL is in danger.
It is coming dangerously close to creating a product which is too homogeneous, too clean. Their latest move to pull the footage of Mason Ho’s masturbation claim for a perfect 10 at Pipe is just the latest in a long line of moves which suck the character out of pro surfing. (Seriously, go look for the clip, you can’t find it anywhere!) Mason Ho is the poster boy for fans of pro surfing, desperate to add some flavor to the WSL. He may look like a cross between Lloyd Christmas and Tyrion Lannister, and I think he’s the type of person that my mum told me never to laugh at, but he’s infinitely more entertaining than anything we currently have on Tour. The WSL has a product which is still the poor man of action sports when it comes to spectating, and they have commentators who apparently share a braincell. They need to embrace the characters and celebrate contention instead of muting anything vaguely controversial.
