Braddah Obama — also a haole. Photo: Instagram
Haoleshaka’s Instagram doesn’t give a rat’s ass who you are. It doesn’t even matter if you were born and raised on the islands… if you’re not native Hawaiian, you’re a haole.
If you don’t know what a shaka is, you should probably go ahead and stop reading right now so you don’t get any ideas to be throwing them yourself. Haoleshaka wouldn’t approve. But for the sake of transparency, make a fist, stick your thumb and pinky out and there you have it — you can now be featured on the page.
They call out past and current presidents, world champions, big wave surfers and everyone in between. Kelly Slater? A haole.
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THIS HAOLE JUST TEXT ME A MINI SHAKA. HE SAID HE CANT GO FULL SHAKA BECAUSE KAI BORG WAS WATCHING. #HAOLESHAKA #SHAKA #KELLYSLATER @kellyslater
Absolutely no one is safe from Haoleshaka’s wrath. You should follow them because it’s funny as hell to see them take the most widely used symbol in surfing and shit all over people for using it. It provides some much needed comic relief to an often too serious pastime, and for the most part the people featured get a kick out of it as well.
Want to stay off their page? Rule #1: don’t have blonde hair. Rule #2: don’t get sunburned. Maybe if you’re really that worried about it, follow in Nat Young’s footsteps and stop using shakas altogether.
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@NAT_YOUNG SUPA WISELY KEPT DA HANDS IN A NOT-SHAKA. IS DAT TODD KLINE @TODDOKRINE IN THE BACK??? #KAIBORG #NATYOUNG #HAOLESHAKA #POI
