There are pictures of Alana Blanchard on the Internet. She’s not wearing clothes in them. I just tried to find them to make sure the rumors were true, and I couldn’t. Now I’m worried that the cops are banging down our office doors. Should I be worried about that? Granted, I didn’t look too hard, because I don’t care all that much. It’s not that Alana’s not beautiful, and I wouldn’t like to see her naked – I am a red-blooded male, after all, and sexual desire is something necessary for our species to perpetuate. I’m not going to apologize for evolution turning me into someone who thinks sex is great. But I don’t want to see her naked in private photos leaked on the Internet. And neither should you.
For those unaware, this theft of Alana Blanchard’s photos is just a small part of something much larger. And much more dangerous. It is shameless, irreparable sexual theft that especially affects those in high profile positions – and especially those who’s currency revolves around sex appeal. But it is news. It is something that happened that people want to hear about and discuss.
The photos were apparently leaked as part of that giant photo dump of celebrities naked (now dubbed the Fappening, which is a hilarious name for a not-very-hilarious thing), whose victims include Jennifer Lawrence, Kirsten Dunst, Kate Upton, and according to the Independent, Hulk Hogan’s son, Nick Hogan.
I’m sure that at least one person (probably a lot more) will say that by merely posting this, we’re throwing bloody chunks of raw meat at a hungry, sex-crazed lion. And in a way, you’re right. Unfortunately, that is the world we’ve (me by writing this and you by reading it) created. The Internet is a large place, full of beautiful things, incredibly average things, and awful things. The Fappening falls into the latter category, which is why you shouldn’t be interested in it. Faceless theft and mass distribution of an individual’s property – property that documents a human at his or her most vulnerable is a disgusting act. One can argue that by making the decision to take nude photos at all she risks being exposed. While that’s true, it’s bullshit. Fear of cyberterror should not determine one’s behavior. Never. The whole deal is awful, and by participating in it, you are being awful. I am being awful by telling you that, and in turn, alerting you to the fact of the awfulness you can look at. Welcome to the new world. Planet Selfie.
But this is the world that we’ve created. A tool that was developed with the intention of sharing information has morphed into a very broad x-ray of society’s interests. Where anything and everything is available to the faceless masses of the Internet, and that shapeless mass quickly becomes a mob. It’s a strange mob-mentality, one held behind closed doors.
Although I disagree with it, and wish that the invisible mob had never been created, I understand it. I have been party to it. If you are a male, under the age of 25, and straight, chances are good you have looked for these photos. That’s part of the new world we’ve all created: nearly anything you want is at the tip of your fingers, held inside a small box with a screen and an internet connection. But if you’re looking for private photos that you weren’t meant to see, a Hustler Magazine (long live print!) is probably much more satisfying for what you’re after. Looking at leaked photos on the Internet is no better than sitting in the bushes and peering through a bathroom window with your dick in your hand.
One good thing has arisen from this mass exodus of some perverted, pale hacker’s stolen photos, though. In a world that is becoming more and more disgusting, where morals are being mowed down like blades of grass, an outrage roars lamenting our individual (and collective) loss of privacy and basic human rights. What is impossible to tell, though, is whether or not that outpour is larger than the amount of people frantically googling “Alana Blanchard naked” with one hand.
Oh, this is the first reason you ever heard Alana Blanchard’s name. She rips. Photo: Clare Plueckhahn
