Rory Parker's high school guidance counselor once described him as being "not as dumb as he looks." His wife often refers to him as, "the biggest asshole I've ever had the misfortune of knowing." She'd better watch her mouth, if she knows what's good for her. He lives on the North Shore of Oahu, where he embraces a deviant sexual lifestyle and dedicates his life to squandering any potential he might have once possessed. He shares a tiny one bedroom house with his wife, who is fortunate there are laws against spousal abuse, a french bulldog who's breath smells suspiciously of peanut butter, and an overly developed persecution complex. Rory has a yellow belt in Karate from the Newport Beach Women's Club, is engaged in an ongoing feud with his neighborhood's feral rooster population, and is extremely sensitive about his weight. He recently fought a sixty five year old man in a Honolulu parking lot and won. See more from Rory on Everythingisalwaysterrible.com
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