Just because it’s surfing, just because it’s being broadcast by the WSL, and just because there are skis and boats and drones and Dave Wassell, does that mean I should care about it? Photo: WSL
William Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing is a play about people conspiring to make mutual friends fall in love. In typical Shakespearean fashion, there’s a bit of trickery and backstabbing and deceit. But in the end, it’s all love and double weddings and singing and dancing and joy.
The story isn’t very engaging. It’s supposed to be a comedy, but it’s not that funny. I’m sure it’s fun to act in, if that’s what you’re into. It might even be good to watch live in the theatre.
Being a Shakespeare play, there will always be those who argue that it’s worthy of our attention. But it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. In fact, it’s quite shit.
It strikes me as a good metaphor for big wave surfing. Just because it’s surfing, just because it’s being broadcast by the WSL, and just because there are skis and boats and drones and Dave Wassell, does that mean I should care about it? Does that mean I should find it interesting? I know I’m supposed to love it. But, honestly, I really don’t.
I’ve tried, I really have. I sat through all the opening heats of the Pe’ahi Challenge. It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was terminally boring. Publications claimed that “Jaws is fucking pumping right now!”, but what I saw was a lot of downtime. Kaipo and Pete Mel did a decent job of trying to keep us engaged. But what we were looking at, for the most part, was a bunch of guys in fat suits, floating around a line-up on oversized boards with very few breaking waves.
The lulls are long. There are some rides, but when they come they’re underwhelming. Pete Mel summed it up best when he said of Kai Lenny: “he will show us a point of difference. He will turn his board.” Well. Shut the front door, Pete! Turns, eh? I can hardly wait.
And what about the scoring? Does anyone understand it? It’s arbitrary at best and a complete fucking mystery at worst. I mean, do we know what the criteria is or anything about judges? Pete and Kaipo said that the competitors have no idea what scores they’re getting during the heats. It all seems a bit silly. It’s akin to holding a timed running event where the competitors don’t know where the start and finish lines are. After the race has finished the officials wave their hands vaguely in the direction of where they think the lines might should probably possibly be.
What the hell does a non-surfer take from this? Or even a surf fan who doesn’t invest (waste) as much of their spare time as I do following it?
Part of the selling point of big wave surfing is seeing skis get trashed on the rocks, people nearly drowning etc. In which case why not just hold a comp in an overhead shoredump? Right now it’s just a really earnest version of Kook Slams. Except it’s not kooks. It’s very serious watermen who take it very seriously and are serious about not getting slammed.
I don’t think I’m missing anything. I understand the degree of skill and commitment required to surf these waves. I know it’s hard and I know I should find it engaging. I’m sure it’s spectacular if you’ve been in the line-up, or if you’re from Maui, or have personal connections to those involved.
But none of these apply to me. I’m simply a fan consuming the WSL product, and I’m struggling to see the appeal.
Maybe it’s a format problem. Maybe it’s a production or broadcast problem (though 8 different camera angles of nothing happening is still nothing happening). Or perhaps big wave surfing really is much ado about nothing.
Editor’s Note: Opinions expressed by contributors are their own. That said, opinions are like assholes, and here’s another, just-as-valid opinion.
