Sometimes, you just gotta let it out.
When it comes to sports, it’s inevitable that someone’s going to get pissed. Regular athletes don’t usually become professional athletes without a whole lot of passion for their sport, and surfing is no different. Mix that passion with something that’s inherently nearly impossible to score properly and you’ve got a recipe for a boiling cauldron of anger. The only thing that saves pro surfing from falling into a Thunderdome scenario is the weird belief that surfers are just too laid back to care. But they do! So much! Here are five times they really, really cared.
1. Kolohe Andino, Vans World Cup of Surfing
When Kolohe Andino first stepped the through CT door, the world had high expectations. He’d spent the majority of his youth winning contests and being touted as the next big thing. Groomed for constant success, Andino’s first few years on tour were a bit of a shocker. That might be why during the Vans World Cup of Surfing in 2013, when a wave turned to mush under his feet, he blew his top.
2. Ian Crane, Oakley Pro Trials
When you’re on the cusp of something big and you suddenly realize that you won’t quite make it, tempers can flare. Such was the case with Ian Crane at the Oakley Pro Trials in April of 2015.
In the trials, the top two finishers move on, and Ian really, really wanted to move on. As the horn sounded in Crane’s heat, he was still in the second position. But Cory Arrambide was chasing him down, and he was hot on his tail. Needing a 6.41, Arrambide groveled way into a 6.43… and moved into second place.
Crane was understandably frustrated, and he expressed it to the judges in no uncertain terms: by throwing two very angry birds their way for a pretty long time. It did not sway their decision.
3. Kelly Slater, Rip Curl Pro
Kelly Slater owns more world titles than anyone else. He’s been called the greatest athlete ever. He’s both the youngest and the oldest to win a world title. Kelly Slater is the GOAT… but he wants to win and hates to lose.
After losing in the third round of the Rip Curl Pro in Portugal, Slater was (mistakenly) under the impression that he was out of contention for a twelfth world title. After Aritz Aranburu gave him the ol’ heave ho, Slater exited the water and took his frustrations out on his surfboard.
4. Conner Coffin, Pipe Masters
Conner Coffin is a throwback to the days when surfing was about power and flow. Big waves, big hacks, big barrels. Unfortunately, that’s not always the best thing to be when surfing in events, but events don’t always have the greatest waves.
Back in December of 2016, Coffin needed a 9.14 to win his heat against Kelly Slater at the Pipe Masters. If he won the heat, he would take home the Rookie of the Year award–which, of course, you only get one shot at.
With under two minutes left in the heat, Conner swung on a backdoor runner, threaded his way through it, and emerged with the spit. He looked sure that he’d just gotten the score he needed–but even to him, it must have been obvious that it would be close. The highest scoring wave of the heat so far had been Kelly’s 8.27, a wave that included two barrel sections and a decent turn to finish. When the judges’ results came back, Conner found himself choking down a very tough pill to swallow: a 9.07.
Joel Parkinson, Quik Pro
Look closely and you’ll see that Parko actually raised TWO middle fingers. Photo: WSL
One can’t put together a list like this without the now-classic image of Joel Parkinson giving Kelly Slater the finger. Parkinson was on the ropes, needing a high nine to beat Slater. With just over two minutes left in the heat, Parko stoked into one that looked promising, stood up tall in a barrel, then watched as Slater used his priority to burn the living shit out of him. Parko watched Slater get barreled and win the heat from the most painful position: behind him.
The ASP weren’t all too happy with him. “It got me in some trouble,” Parkinson said. “Not too bad. It was all good. Just a little rap across the knuckles from the ASP. It’s a professional sport and there’s a lot of emotion in the middle of a contest like that. I meant no disrespect to Kelly. But it’s like any sport when someone is passionate about what they’re doing.”
