“Hey honey, thanks for dragging that water heater through the bush for me. This is great.” “Fuck you, ‘honey.'”
Hammocks are awesome. Hot tubs are awesome. You know how many times I’ve been lying my hammock and wished I was simultaneously lying in a hot tub? Twice. Finally, it’s a possibility!
Yeah, twice isn’t very many times, but I’ve thought it. Once was last week, when I was drunk in my hammock and had to pee. I didn’t want to stand up, so I rolled over and peed off the side of the hammock, coming dangerously close to flipping into a pool of my own still-warm urine. If I had been in a hot tub, I could have just peed in it, because that’s what everyone does. Don’t fool yourself. When you’re in a hot tub with someone else, you’re basically basking in a tepid pool of someone else’s piss.
The Hydro Hammock is a triple threat: it can be a regular old hammock, which you cannot pee in. It can also be a hammock hot tub, which you could pee in. It can also be a portable hot tub liner for sand or snow, if you feel like digging a big hole that you could pee in while you’re sitting in it.
The water heater can either use water from your hose, draw it from a water source, or just recirculate the water already in the hammock. Now, one of the greatest camping destinations is one with a hot spring somewhere close. With the Hydro Hammock, the hot spring isn’t necessary. Except for the wonders of Mother Nature and the miracle of geothermal activity, you’ve pretty much got your own. There’s only one problem, apart from the fact that a hammock full of water could probably bring down the load bearing beams in your house.
I have been camping a lot. Most of the time, I’ll bring a little hammock with me and string it up somewhere pretty. But never ever have I wanted to drag a giant water heater around with me, even if it meant I could pee in my hammock. In their defense, though, they built the heater so it would meet checked baggage requirements, so you can fly somewhere with it, and THEN drag a giant water heater through the bush.
Either way, though, the Hydro Hammock is pretty awesome. It’s a bathtub in a bag. It’s a hot tub in the sand. It’s a freaking hammock full of hot water, for God’s sake. And while it might not be great for camping anywhere other than five feet from your vehicle, it’s still a hammock full of hot water.
Check out HydroHammock.com for more information.
