To that end, when Ian Cairns and Laird Hamilton–in statements which, I have no doubt, came from concern for Maya’s well-being–publicly question whether she should be surfing mammoth waves after surviving a giant wipe-out and making it in to the inside of Nazaré via her own volition… and only then succumbing to a jet-ski rescue gone bad that could have happened to anybody, I must call foul.
Question someone’s skill in large surf, please. I encourage this and hope it extends to males as well, especially in today’s era of “gladiators” and “manning up” and giant paychecks being floated to those who chase mountains in the seas. I have no doubt these conversations occur amongst those who are actively engaged in surfing massive waves.
And it is here, between those engaged in the activity, that those conversations belong, not in a patronizing Facebook post that shows Maya completely disabled and being lugged from the ocean helplessly, or in a television interview during which a surf patriarch who was not present at Nazaré (but who ensures us he could have been) diminishes both Brazilians who dared to do the impossible that day (Carlos Burle may have set a new record for largest wave ridden).
Diminishment is a trademark of the surf patriarchy (or any other group seeking to maintain their own status and power), that those who challenge the status quo are diminished, trivialized, or ignored. For women, we get the patronizing care of implicit sexism, as if we don’t ourselves know how to calculate the risks associated with death-defying endeavors.
Yet this is also how we know we have shifted and are progressing as a culture in our conversation around sexism: I have witnessed Cairns and Hamilton both being called out by commenters for one of the more difficult-to-see forms of sexism: paternal care.
The reason for this support amidst the protective? Maya is doing exactly what we, in our mode as a meritocratic culture, have deemed necessary to gain respect. Charge. Go. Don’t back down. Don’t give up. Be courageous, undaunted… be brave. More than any photo shoot she has ever done, more than any feature in magazines or glamour shot, this act is a game changer.
Are there consequences for this type of behavior? You bet there are. But how many paradigm shifts have you heard of that didn’t leave a little blood on the reef? Do I like that this is the case? Hell no. Would I prefer the shift was one in the direction of more compassion and less death-defying demand for our male heroes? Absolutely.
Perhaps we ought to start seriously considering meeting in the middle.
